April 21, 2005
It has been a grueling month here at home. Many twists and turns. Kat is doing better with minor regressions. Anthony is very good, Ryan is in the swing of Baseball, Ann is working very hard as the sole provider and I have resigned several times from my job.
Kat has been on the Federici program for almost 4 months now and there have been dramatic improvements. She can now count to ten, with difficulty from time to time. She can eat an entire meal without soiling herself or having a nervous breakdown, Ann can go to work or just go outside without a meltdown. It is a beautiful thing. She suffers from brain damage, and will always be a little different. She has makes great strides when we keep to the routine and schedule. If we deviate a little, she is off kilter. It is hard doing the same things day in, day out. It is working for her. She will be starting speech soon and will have another evaluation so we can try to get her the right education in our local school district. It is not easy fighting a school system. It is overwhelming and very frustrating at time. She has a hard time recovering from outings and that is hard as summer is approaching and I want to get out more. I have not figured out how the routine will look as the warm weather approaches. We will have to figure it out.
She is going to 4 years old in 2 weeks. It is hard to look at her as an almost 4 year old. She does not behave like a typical 4 year old kid. There is no spontaneity or creative activities. She will mimic others but it still seems that she does not get the 'self' part of life. I do not know if she ever will. It is a stuggle!
All in all, she is doing 500% better then she was 6 months ago. She will have spontaneous affection, laugh when appropriate and go on the toilet, most of the time. Bathroom is still a small issue. It seems to be one of the lingering behavior problems. I hope we get past that soon. But of course today has been a little rough.
Anthony is toilet training. It has been quite a while since I have changed a poopy diaper. It is a beautiful thing. He is growing in leaps and bounds. He is catching up to Kat quick. He can count to 10 and likes going past up to 20. It is not perfect but he does it well most of the time. He loves singing. He is quite the comedian also. He has all kinds of funny faces, funny voices and just enjoys his life.
He is going to toddler class on Saturday mornings and is enjoying it. He also has a new friend. Kevin is about Anthony's age and he lives right behind us. They have been getting together about once a week for a play date and are really enjoying it. Now that the weather is nicer they have been playing outside and having a great time. He really likes playing with Kevin. Some days Anthony will stand at the back sliding glass door and call "Kevin". He also says "I need to see my Kevin". It is really cute and good for both of them to socialize.
Anthony also likes baseball. He has his own mitt and bat. He really likes to play catch and watch the game. One night Ann had to drop Kat and Anthony off with me at baseball practice. The look on Anthony's face when he saw all those kids playing baseball was priceless. He stood in awe, watching Daddy hit baseball's and coach the kids. He watched for about 10 minutes before he tried to go on the field and play. I gave him a ball and set them up on the side throwing back and forth. He is a great kid.
Ryan is doing well. Just got his report card and no complaints. It as A's and B's with one C. Not too bad if you ask me. His behavior has improved and his teachers are commenting on the change they have seen in him. This is due to Federici. Federici and Wendy gave us a plan to work with Ryan on some of his behaviors. It worked and is working. Thanks Wendy and Dr. Federici.
Ryan is playing of the Pirates again this year. I stepped up to the Manager position. They are 4 and 0 as of today. We put him behind the plate as catcher, OH MY GOSH! He is very impressive behind the plate. He keeps his pitchers going and his team in the game with all of his encouragement. I wasn't sure how he would do behind the plate. He is really good at it. He also hit an inside the park homerun. It was a hit deep to left field. He was so proud of himself. I was very proud of him as well. Keep it up Ryan.
Ryan is also doing well with Kat and Anthony. He seems to be adjusting well to having them around. He and Anthony are thick as thieves now. What ever Ryan does, Anthony has to do. Ryan gargles when he brushes his teeth, so does Anthony. Ryan puts pasta on his bread, so does Anthony. No matter what Ryan does, Anthony tries to do it.
Ann is hanging in there. She has taken on the roll of Breadwinner. I am sure it is difficult to do, leaving me at home with the kids. She is handling it well though. Her job is busy and hectic. She comes home and takes over when ever possible. I really appreciate all that she does. It is really hard working all day then coming home to a madhouse as the relief. I am amazed at how she seems to handle it. Thanks love.
I have resigned from my job 5 times now. It is making me nuts. It was hard enough to make that decision the first time. By the 5th time I was beside myself with doubt, etc... When I originally resigned, they suggested I take advantage of FMLA first. To get to FMLA, I tendered my resignation twice. Right after starting FMLA I offered my resignation again and was told to wait and see if there may be a position I could assume. The forth and fifth were about a week apart. Today being the fifth letter of resignation. I think I am really done on the 2nd of May. Who knows, we'll see.
It is not all roses here nor is it all bad. There have been a few success's with development and a few set backs. I have prayed for a normal day, hopefully we will see one. I am saddened when I think about the future. It has been 18 months or so and I have no idea what our future holds with Kat. She is part of our family and I am still struggling to figure out how to parent her and help her to achieve all she can. One day at time is sometimes too much for me.